Thursday, May 20, 2010

A Big Sigh of Relief (or two or three)

The first sigh of relief is for my Atlanta RE, who hugged me 4 times and was soooo excited for us. She said she'd been thinking about me.  She could not have been nicer. (See yesterday's post for the back story on this.) I'm so glad I went out of my way to see her today for the ultrasound. She probably would have been disappointed if I had scheduled with one of her colleagues. And the outcome of the u/s was the perfect ending to this chapter of my story with the Atlanta clinic.

The second and third sighs of relief are for our TWINS!!!!

As soon as the image appeared on the screen, my doc sort of squealed and jumped and said, "We have two!"

I was just in awe looking at that monitor with those two gestational sacs and those tiny little fluttering heartbeats.

She took lots of pictures and printed them out. I'll have to see if I can scan them or photograph them another day.

Here are the details:

Embryo A
crown rump length (CRL) is .77 cm (7.7 mm) with a heartrate of 138 bpm
6w5d (based on size)
Projected due date based on size: 1/8/11 (my mom's 69th birthday!)

Embryo B
CRL is .71 cm (7.1 mm) with a heartrate of 137 bpm
Projected due date: 1/9/11

I believe that full term for twins is 37 weeks, so those due dates are late. The u/s machine simply calculates things based on the individual size of each embryo.

I have mostly been in shock about this. I do feel like I now have an explanation for all the nausea. This evening I was going to take a short nap but my mind couldn't stop thinking about twins. DH was in the next room and every now and then, I'd say something like, "It just got a whole lot more expensive to fly home" or "Our childcare costs just doubled!" I started thinking about getting two babies in and out of car seats in my Volvo S60 and taking them ANYWHERE at all. Wow. If we do indeed end up with twins, I've got a lot to learn. I've got a lot to learn no matter what!

I am excited but kind of overwhelmed. I haven't cried at all. DH did get teary after the u/s. My mom cried on the phone. Actually the only time I got a bit misty was when I was walking toward the building from the parking lot thinking about all the times I've walked that path. I thought about coming and going before and after so many failures and wondered if I'd exit the building today with another failure under my belt. I thought about what good care my doc has given me, about the time she sent me to the ER across the street when I had unbearable pain a week after my first transfer. I thought about the times I'd been wheeled to the curb in a wheelchair post retrieval. It was odd knowing that any success I would claim today was not because of the work of this clinic. But I do give them a good bit of the credit. Without my Atlanta doc, her nurse, and the rest of the team, I would have never made it to this point. They weren't able to get me across the finish line but they've cheered me on along the way and my doc has coached me through this in many ways. It really has been a much more personal experience than CCRM. But that makes sense when I've only been to CCRM a few times in comparison. And I can't imagine Dr. Babycraft hugging me. Not in a million years.

You may think I'm crazy going on and on about the Atlanta clinic like this but I think it's something I have to do to put everything that's happened behind me.

More later!


  1. CONGRATS!! Those are some good numbers!!

  2. Woohoo! Bring on the twins. Prayed and thought about you all night. Love you, friend!

  3. Yay, twins! But... I know it must feel a little overwhelming! You'll do fine! It'll be double the fun!

  4. Yay! But you are surprised with twins?? You do remember your betas, right? I was expecting them. Glad to hear you are all doing well.

    It is hard for me to understand your nostalgia and positive feeling toward your old clinic, given your lack of success and their odd behavior. It reminds me a lot of my old clinic, who I still have active dislike for. You are a better person than me.

  5. Yay, how exciting!!! : ) Yesterday I read your blog from beginning to end, and I want you to know that I am absolutely inspired by your journey. During my wait, I will occasionally need to renew my faith in CCRM, and I plan to come back to your blog and reread! : )

  6. Wow, congratulations! How exciting!! ;-)

  7. Amazing news - I'm very excited for you!

  8. Don't know how I missed this on Thurs - but a HUMUNGOUS congrats!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Congratulations Susie!!!! That is wonderful news! You continue to give us hope about CCRM! On the local OB question, Dr. Yvette Smith is wonderful - plus she had triplets herself so would understand your situation. She is at Atlanta Women's Specialists.

  10. Susie, this is your Atlanta acupuncturist. Congratulations! I am extremely happy for you and your DH about the twins (we suspected that!) and about your whole experience with the ultrasound and with your Atlanta RE. My best to you and your whole family, always! Will plan to catch up with you sometime soon. Hope you feel better!