Monday, February 22, 2010

The ride continues

Emotion of the moment:  fear. I don't know why, but I'm feeling scared that none of our embryos will be normal. It hit me yesterday that that really could be the case. I'm hoping for at least two of the six to be normal, but it very well could be that none of my 39-year-old eggs can make good embryos.

I just got a call on my cell phone from area code 303 and thought, "It's the lab." My heart froze because I'm not sure I'm ready to hear the truth of the matter. It actually was our hotel. I accidentally left my Blackberry cord behind and they are trying to return it to me.

I am so ready for a conclusion to this journey. If none of the embryos are normal, I think we then move toward adoption. But DH will be 50 in a matter of months. Is adoption even a possibility? And how long could that take?

So. Fear. And my old friend, impatience. That's what I've got going on today.


  1. Oh no! I know that fear, I always go through all the scenarios the nurse will tell me (BTW, it's not the lab, it's your nurse, or maybe even your doc, that will call you with the results). I decide what will be my limit of happiness (like for you 2/6) but honestly, I always stress and obsess. Are you carrying your cell phone around like it is glued to your hand?

    I hope the great results come to you soon!!! I'm checking on you often, just to see if it's happened yet. So I'm being obsessive for both of us!

  2. thinking of you too! prayers & hugs coming your way! :)

  3. Hell, yes it's terrifying! And hell, yes, adoption is an option. Here's wishing you all sorts of positive things.

  4. Fingers crossed...

    and I think with adoption age really factors in differently depending on what type of adoption you do... there are many types. Some have restrictions on age, some don't. But, there are always options.

    but for now, the matter at hand.
    Hoping for the best!