Reporting Live from Bedrest in Denver...

First of all, I must comment on the crazy weather we're having here. Yesterday, it rained, it hailed, it was sunny for a while, and there were tornado warnings. Today, it has been raining but now it is changing over to snow. It is pouring snow right now! I think I heard that there could be 4" accumulation. Insane! We were here for 10 days in January/February and it was bright and sunny just about every day. We saw about 10 snowflakes in 10 days. Meanwhile, I hear it is sunny and supposed to be 86 in Atlanta today.

Enough about the weather. I think everything went great with the transfer yesterday. The day started with a call from the lab to confirm my "thaw plan." I learned that they were going to thaw numbers 1 and 17, which were both frozen on day 5. Their grades were 3AA and 5AA. I learned that after thawing, they would give them each a  % grade based on how much of each embryo was intact. Then, they would also grade the re-expansion, from slight to fully expanded. She said even if it was slight, there would be time for expansion between the thaw and the transfer. I think the thaw took place about 3 hours prior to transfer. I asked what would happen if something goes wrong -- would they call me back to talk about thawing a third one? She said yes, they would.

They didn't call, so that was my first sign that all was well.

Before going up to the CCRM surgery center, I had a blood draw to run the E2 and P4 (estrogen and progesterone). I was very curious about this because both had been low the last time they ran them. We also had our injection teach with our nurse. I suggested that DH actually do that shot under her supervision. It went fine. Thanks again to everyone for the tips and encouragement about that!

Everyone at CCRM's surgery center was so friendly and upbeat. I had acupuncture before and after the transfer. It is so nice that CCRM makes this really easy on patients who want to do this. They bring the acupuncturist in to CCRM so you have the same room the whole time you're there. (In Atlanta, I had to go to the acupuncturist's office before and after the transfer.) I was lucky because I got the same acupuncturist I had seen while I was here in January. And she's the one who spoke with my acupuncturist in Atlanta about electro-acupuncture treatments. She also gave me the strict "absolutely no caffeine and 64 ounces of water and 30 minutes of walking daily" regimen. It only seemed right for her to bring me across the finish line of this treatment cycle, acupuncturally speaking.

Snow update: "the lake is covered, the ground is covered, it's snowing more and more!!" This is an inside comment for one of my readers -- my dear friend S. who was my freshman roommate in college. I sat up one morning in bed, looked out the window and exclaimed the above. You probably had to be there, but that has become a catch phrase for 20 years now. In other words, there is snow everywhere. Sorry for the snow fixation, but I live in Atlanta, people!

Back to yesterday. You have to drink lots of water before an embryo transfer because it helps the sonographer find the uterus, the image of which the doctor uses to guide the placement of the embryos. A nice CCRM discovery is that they are very precise about how expanded your bladder should be. In Atlanta I had to drink more than 64 oz of water before the transfer. Here, I drank maybe 20-30 oz and they decided my bladder was too full, so they let me go to the restroom -- twice! They gave me a medium-sized cup and allowed me to fill it. What a relief!

The embryologist came in with a clipboard to report on the embryos. Get this: both of them survived 100%!

When it was time to bring the little guys in, they rolled them in in a high-tech IVF chamber, that according to this web site (from which you can buy your very own IVF chamber if you like), will protect the embryos from harmful room air and boost your chances of success. I never saw this chamber in Atlanta. One more reason why I love CCRM. I'm telling you, they have got it going on. In Atlanta, there's a door between the transfer room and the lab, so I'd like to believe that it was just a few steps that the embryologist walked with my embryos in the pipette, exposing them to who knows what, but you never know.

The coolest thing is that we got to see them magnified on the video monitor above the chamber.

Here are a few pictures . . .

Embryologist at work

The dish under the microscope

Numbers 1 and 17, moments before transfer

(one is just above center, the other is in bottom right-hand corner of screen)

Dr. Babycraft got me ready for the embryos, the sonographer was pushing on my abdomen to keep a good view of the uterus, and when it was time, the embryologist actually inserted the embryos and accompanying fluid into the catheter placed by Dr. B. This was different in Atlanta, too; the embryologist didn't get to do the honors. She handed the  pipette to the doctor who actually did the deed. I don't know that these differences really matter, but I surely like the idea of everyone having their own task and specialty. I'm sure such attention to detail plays into success rates.

At the risk of giving TMI... Dr. Babycraft had some trouble getting "access." After it was all said and done, he said, "Did you feel anything?" and I immediately said yes. And he said, "What did you feel?" I told him it was uncomfortable when he was putting the catheter in.  (It actually hurt at moments.) He nodded and said he had some difficulty. He asked if I was cramping and I said yes, a little bit. I said that has happened before -- that my cervix has been kind of twisty. He agreed. Strange -- I felt like I was assessing his performance and that he was not happy with himself that I felt something. Like he prides himself on people not feeling anything. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

He said I had two beautiful embryos. Everyone was saying that, and they were all so excited for us.

After my second acupuncture treatment, when she said goodbye and left the room, the last thing she said was, "Send me a baby picture!" and I immediately said, "Okay!" like it's a done deal.

I could write all day, since I'm confined to the bed until tomorrow morning and it's not even noon! However, I realize you do not have all day to read my blog, so I'll sign off for now.

Oh, one more thing. Progesterone was still low, so PIO shots are now daily, plus the three-a-day endometrin suppositories. DH is already a pro! We did today's shot a while ago and I literlly felt nothing. Yay!

Six More Days 'til FET

I'm excited and relieved that after all this time of waiting and preparation, the FET date is almost here. I'm "locked in" now on the date. This week, on Monday, my E2 was 126 (they like it to be 50 or more). Today, it was 312 (they like it to be 300 or more). My nurse asked if I'm moving the estrogen patches around, because apparently if you put them in the same vicinity, the absorption is limited. I have not been putting them in the exact same place, but I have been using the same section of my lower abdomen. Guess I'll be moving them tomorrow. I had my lining check today, too, and the PA said, "It looks beautiful. I can't imagine a more perfect place for an embryo to implant." That made me feel really good. The measurement was 11 and it has a great triple stripe, as desired.

I had my 7th electro acupuncture treatment this evening. One more to go on Monday and then I should be set. The acupuncturist said tonight that I sound so positive and sure that this is going to work. I wouldn't say that. I am just ready. I'm excited that two weeks from tomorrow, we'll know something.

When I talked to the nurse today I asked how that will work -- the beta. It will be May 1. My clinic in Atlanta will get results and send them to Denver and someone in Denver will call me. They want the HCG to be at least 50. If it is, on May 3, they'll retest and hope it has doubled. If it has, that's it. They'll do weekly estrogen and progesterone checks, but no more HCGs. Two and a half weeks past the beta, they'll do an ultrasound and hope to see a heartbeat. The thought of that makes my own heart race!

If the beta is negative, I don't even want to think about that. At least May 1 is a Saturday, so I could cry and mope all day long if I wanted to.

Part of my preparation for the transfer is preparation for how to communicate with people who want to know NOW. With some of the "fringe" people who know what's going on but don't get the play by play, I've started being very vague about the transfer date and then I've said, "So hopefully this summer, we'll have some good news to announce." With my mother-in-law, I tested this out: "Well, after what happened last year, I just don't know when we'll really feel comfortable making any kind of announcement . . ." With my mom, I haven't brought it up. She knows we're going to Denver next Wednesday but I'm not giving her the play-by-play on E2 levels, my lining, etc. I don't know how it will all pan out with our moms. We'll see. They both live out of state, so it's not like we're going to see them soon. Keeping information private will be easier when we don't have to see them.

One year ago today was my first IVF retrieval. We got 7 eggs.

Meet Eenie and Meenie

Last Wednesday we had the egg retrieval and got seven mature eggs. I was sedated, so I didn't remember anything at all. After the retrieval, I spent the day at home sleeping. Thursday morning on the way to work, the embryologist called with a report. When he said, "unfortunately" my heart sank. Only two of the seven eggs fertilized. We had planned to name them "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe" so this meant we just had Eenie and Meenie. When I told one of my coworkers, I started to cry, which told me that I was more upset than I realized. I didn't have time to think a lot about it at work though, so I emailed my mom to let her know and dove into work. Mom's reply -- that Eenie and Meenie are survivors -- was encouraging.

That night I reread the paperwork I had signed weeks ago -- a 17-page document that explained the process. You know, you read the stuff ahead of time but until you're living it, it just doesn't all sink in. I read all of the things that could happen to make an IVF cycle unsuccessful and I also did some reading online. There's a clinic in Chicago with lots of good info online. Their site is www.advancedfertility.com. This reading was all a good reality check. As a result, I was prepared for a call Saturday morning that said not to come in because Eenie and Meenie didn't make it.

I went to the acupuncturist at 8 on Saturday and when I told her I was half-way expecting that call, I could tell she was disappointed with my attitude. She emphatically said that although people think this is hocus-pocus there are studies that show that our energy effects everything going on out there. I thought, "Oh great. So if Eenie and Meenie die, I killed them." Of course I didn't say this to her. I assured her that I'm hopeful as well as aware of the possibilities.

But you know what? The call didn't come!

After my acupuncture treatment I ran home to start drinking 64 oz. of water -- you have to have a full bladder for the transfer -- and to take 4 Advil and one Zanax as prescribed by my doctor. We arrived at the clinic for our 10:15 transfer at 9:45. I was excited but still bracing for the moment of truth when we learned whether it would be Eenie and Meenie or just Eenie. After changing into a gown (and my husband changed into scrubs so he could be in the OR with me) they did a quick ultrasound to see if my bladder was full... It was NOT! So the nurse asked me to keep drinking.

A few minutes later I was ready so we met the embryologist, who gave us a photo of E & M. She explained that they grade the embryos on a scale of 1 to 4. One is excellent and 4 is not good. Both E & M were 3s. She called them average. (Of course I thought, "No embryo of mine is average!!") She said they are both eight cells, which is exactly what they want to see on day 3 (day 3 after retrieval) but they have some fragmentation, which could make it difficult for them to implant.

We watched on the monitor as the doctor inserted the catheter into my uterus and injected E & M in there, too. He pointed out the little white dot on the screen, which was E & M, and then he circled it and printed it out. He said the placement was excellent.

They said -- and things I read on that web site noted above also said -- that they are perfectly viable embryos, even though they are fragmented. So the likelihood is less than if they were not fragmented at all, but the doctor said a twin pregnancy is a possibility.

I went back to the acupuncturist for a second treatment after the transfer and by that time, the Zanax had REALLY kicked in. I was feeling it in my head. My husband took me home afterwards and I laid on the couch the rest of the day. Today I got up and went to church and then to the local museum (for a quick 30-minute jaunt through a famous exhibit that was closing today). After that I had planned to run some errands but was feeling tired. I had a big nap on the couch and have pretty much been laying around since then. I didn't want to overdo it, so I figured since it's the weekend, I may as well take advantage and do all I can to rest up.

I've felt an odd "tightness" in my uterus today. Not exactly cramping. Almost like someone has a string tied to my insides and is pulling it together. It is way too early for any sort of symptoms so I'm thinking this is just an after-effect of something I've subjected my poor body to in recent weeks -- high-powered drugs, a needle through my vagina that sucks the eggs out of my follicles, two acupuncture treatments in one day, the transfer.... Who knows?

I am on progesterone and estrogen and have to occupy myself until next Thursday, April 30, for the results. I'm feeling fairly patient at the moment. I'm just really glad I got to see this cycle through to the end. I was going to be upset if it was cancelled because I would've felt like we didn't get a full shot this go 'round. We're on one of those financing programs where you get three tries (more if you have eggs to freeze) so I want to make the most of each attempt.

I should be able to keep myself pretty busy with work, so hopefully I won't get too emotionally erratic during the next 11 days. Will keep you posted!

Seven days of stimulation shots and counting . . .

On Friday, my doctor said, "I don't think you're going to need 12 days of meds." She saw 7 follicles on one ovary and 2-3 on the other. She seemed pleased, but I'm not sure if she's just one of those people who's always positive and encouraging. Not that I think she'd mislead me into thinking things were good if they weren't. My next ultrasound and bloodwork is tomorrow morning -- Easter Sunday morning. There's a chance they'll trigger me Monday, which means the retrieval would be Tuesday. But I think it will go one more day, at least. I will know more tomorrow.

I am also doing acupuncture. I went this morning. She told me that the day of the transfer, a lot of women -- in an effort to do everything they can -- go for two treatmeants. One before and one after the transfer. Who knows if that makes a difference or not? It would be an extra $270, I know that.

I am trying to stay calm but I feel my anxiety level rising at moments. Work is super-busy right now. I think I'll be glad about that after the transfer when I need to keep myself busy. This next week, I'll just be trying to stay calm.