You Won't Believe This

I'm not sure I have mentioned this before, but I learned a while back that my star staff member (let's call her Stacy) was also trying to conceive. She has known about my situation for a while. She knew about the brief pregnancy a year ago and she knows about our going to CCRM and everything. A couple of months ago I briefly became obsessed with the fear that we would get pregnant at the same time and have overlapping maternity leaves. If I wrote about this at all, it was during that time.

Well, my fear has come true.

She told me yesterday during her annual performance evaluation. I was prepared for the news because I had pretty much figured it out. I think she was pretty scared to tell me because she was not sure that I was successful with the transfer. I congratulated her and asked when she is due. January 13. I said, "Are you kidding me?" She said, "When are you due?" (So she assumed the best, which is nice.)

She had her first ultrasound the day before and learned she was further along than she expected. She said she started counting the weeks (because she knew the date of the transfer) and went, "Oh crap!"

It was a lot of fun to discuss symptoms and such but then we got down to the serious business of how to tell the big boss, who is liable to freak out.

My boss (the big boss) and I had a great conversation about my plans over lunch on Monday (and I was going to post about it but have still been feeling miserably nauseous, especially at night, which is when I normally post). She asked if I was coming back to work and I told her I don't know yet. I was able to openly discuss my feelings, saying that my biggest concern is doing something I'll regret, either way. I learned that she had been thinking of ways to keep me on in a part-time capacity in which I could work from home (if I don't want to keep my current job). She said I'd been very loyal and she believed in rewarding that. She also had been thinking of whether or not Stacy (from above) could take on most of my job (the parts I wouldn't be doing part-time). We discussed this and also discussed the possibility that Stacy wants to have a baby, too. I was pretty encouraged by this discussion. My boss is so good when it comes to giving people opportunities to advance.

So. Fast forward from Monday to Thursday. Things are a bit more complicated now! The boss didn't freak out, but she is trying to figure out what to do now. She asked what I think we should do and I told her I need to think about it.
I think the most important question for me is what I personally want to do. But I am very concerned about what happens if I leave. I have worked so, so hard to build my team and have increasing success every year. We are now completing our best year ever. I want everything to continue growing even if I'm not the one to make it happen.

Gotta run. I took a vacation day today to get ready for the in-laws and the big birthday party for DH on Sunday. Yay!