Sunday, January 15, 2012

News from an absentee blogger

So it's been a while again! I've been checking in on some of my old blogging buddies tonight and I honestly don't know how you women do it... I just can't find the time to blog or even log in and read what's going on in other peoples' lives. I've missed out on a lot, I'm learning.

Well, and there's a lot I've held back, too. I suppose it's time to fess up.

I'm pregnant. 21 weeks pregnant. (There's only one this time.)

This happened naturally.

Go figure.

The twins will be 18 months old when Newbie arrives.

I found out at the end of September. Couldn't believe it. The doctor warned me about this, but did I listen? No! I thought I was one of the most infertile women around. Apparently not.

While every baby is a blessing, this news threw me into a serious tailspin when I was already feeling overwhelmed by my new life. Becoming a stay-at-home mom to twins at nearly 40 after spending most of my adult life focusing intently on my career ROCKED MY WORLD. I have really had a hard time making the transition. But I have never doubted my decision to scale back on my career for a while. I am grateful to have the opportunity to do that.

I've struggled with what to say in this post because my heart hurts for those women out there who want to conceive a child and no matter what they try, nothing seems to work. If you've read my blog, you know I was one of those women. Even though we ultimately found success by travelling cross country to a clinic far away from home, it was a long, hard, painful road. I haven't forgotten how it made me feel and probably never will. I read the blogs of those who are still trying and I want to ask why this is happening to these amazing women who would obviously be great moms.

I intended to make this post my last one because let's face it, I'm no good at blogging right now. I was going to wrap things up and say thank you to the members of this community for all you have meant to me. But I can't say goodbye!

I'll keep checking in when I can. And even when I don't check in, I hold you all in my heart.