Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Serendipitous Meeting

This morning -- out of the blue -- I met someone who just last week found out she's pregnant after her first IVF cycle. We were both volunteering at a 10K, cheering runners at the finish line, so there was plenty of time to talk. She was so upbeat, positive, and eager to encourage me. It was interesting to talk with her because her excitement made me a bit nervous and I sensed that my lack of enthusiasm was disappointing to her. I wasn't openly negative, but I'm trying to be realistic about IVF and the chance that it will work. I sensed that she wanted me to be really excited but I just couldn't go there. My clinic's pregnancy rate for 38 to 40 year-olds was nearly 41% in 2008... Oh, I get it now. I just looked up the pregnancy rate for women below 35 for my clinic and it is nearly 67%. No wonder she was excited. She is 31, I think. She goes to another clinic in town but they probably have comparable success rates.

The good thing is, I didn't feel jealous of her. I actually felt nervous, like, ohh, it's still early. I hope it takes. Miscarriage isn't uncommon. But she was so sweet, she got my email address and already sent me a note so we can keep in touch.

Having a support system is crucial. It's so great when women encourage each other rather than criticize. It's nice when you meet a perfect stranger and you have an instant connection. I'm grateful for those experiences.

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