The Dark Tunnel

So I'm finally ready for the trigger shot! I had some major follicular growth overnight and I think the time has come. My lead was 25 mm today -- that's like 6 mm larger than yesterday. Seem impossible? My nurse said it could be attributed to having a different sonographer today from yesterday. Or maybe the growth hormone injections have a lingering effect!

Trigger is tonight at 1:45 a.m. and retrieval is Wednesday around noon.

My E2 shot up again to like 5,700 so the doc ordered an injection of certrotide. The nurse said it would help make sure I don't hyperstimulate.

We had our regroup with Dr. Babycraft today. If IVF is a roller coaster, meeting with him was like flying through a dark tunnel when you can't see anything and you're screaming your head off. For some reason I felt, well, a little bit terrified in Babycraft's presence. This is an unusual response for me -- with most people, I'm typically pretty composed and articulate, but in our meeting with him I felt like my questions were not well formed and his answers were impossible for me to understand. At one point I felt my emotions getting the best of me and I just wanted to get out of there. I did get a few questions answered but I generally felt like I'd unnecessarily taken up an appointment slot in his busy day.

"Do you think we wasted his time?" I asked my husband as soon as we left. He assured me that no, that wasn't the case. He pointed out that like with many brilliant people, Babycraft doesn't have the best people skills. My doc in Atlanta has the best people skills of any doc I've ever had, but I don't think she's got anything on Babycraft. So bottom line -- I'll take it. I know he's following me very closely and making careful decisions about what to do and when to do it. He doesn't have to be my best friend. He just has to practice his craft.

Although it didn't thrill me, our meeting with Babycraft was a good reality check -- a good reminder that my chances of success are still only like 35%. We also confirmed that no matter how many eggs we get and no matter how many fertilize, we will freeze all. As Babycraft put it, the lining of my uterus and my follicles aren't on the same page right now. My lining thinks I've already ovulated, so a transfer now would not be a good idea. This means another trip to Denver if we have something to work with.

This afternoon I found myself feeling impatient in an old familiar way -- the "I don't care what happens here, I just want this to be over" kind of way. Luckily that feeling didn't last. I tremendously care what happens here, of course. I'm just tired of being away from home and I miss my own bed and kitchen and bathroom and cat and car and and and... I even miss work.

More tomorrow.

Coasting

I would not have predicted that I'd go three days before posting again since I'm in Denver now and I'm supposed to have all kinds of time on my hands. We actually have been pretty busy.

Thursday -- ultrasound and bloodwork, consult with genetic counselor, backup sperm sample, switched rooms in hotel (got the big one we wanted), dealt with work issues and internet problems in new hotel room

Friday -- IVF physical, electro acupunture, more internet problems in hotel room, trip into Denver to visit The Tattered Cover bookstore (thanks for the recommendation, Pie) and find a place to have birthday dinner, and oh -- intermittent gifts throughout the day from DH (he's so wonderful!)

Saturday -- ultrasound and bloodwork, spontaneous 300+ mile trip ino the mountains that took the rest of the day. It was so beautiful - lots of snow on the ground, bright and sunny

Today -- ultrasound and bloodwork, church, lunch, grocery store and Target, work projects due tomorrow, walk on treadmill, dinner at yummy Mexican restaurant out our back door

So that's what I've been doing, but here's the skinny:

Started stim meds 1/23 (Menopur, Follistim, Saizen (Saizen just for five days)

1/26 ultrasound/bloodwork
E2 593, P 0.3, LH 6.4
15 follicles

1/28 ultrasound/bloodwork
E2 1674, P 0.9, LH 6.5
11 follicles measured (L 13.5, 16.1, 11.9, 14 and R 14.6, 12.7, 13.5, 13.1, 15.2, 13.2, 11.5)
Need to watch P level -- if gets above 2.0, may have to freeze all embryos no matter how many we have

1/30 ultrasound/bloodwork and Doppler retest
E2 4076, P 1.7, LH 4.9 - stim meds discontinued p.m. to keep E2 from rising much more - "coasting"
11 follicles measured (L 12.4, 18.2, 13.1, 17.7,10.3 and R 17.2, 17.9, 13.9, 17.1, 14.0, 13.8)
Doppler results normal (PI down from 4.69 to 2.05 on R and 3.9 to 2.24 on L!)

1/31 ultrasound/bloodwork
E2 4815, P 1.9, LH 3.7
11 follicles measured (L 19.6, 18.3, 17.4, 15.3, 12.4 and R 18.2, 16.2, 15.1, 18.3, 16.5, 17.4)
Sonographer counted 17 but only measured the biggest ones.

I thought they might trigger me tonight, but I'm still coasting. I'm glad about this. My big problem in previous cycles has been getting enough mature eggs. Everyone here has been saying we should get double digits, which would be amazing. We got 7 last April and 3 in August.

When we met with the genetic counselor, we discussed plan A, plan B, plan C... Plan A is to get at least five eggs to fertilize so we can do the genetic testing. Plan B is either a fresh transfer or polar body testing. All of the possibilities are kind of mind boggling. I loved receiving the information that the genetic counselor shared, but it was a bit overwhelming when I started thinking about every little thing that could happen in our specific situation.

Tomorrow we have another ultrasound and bloodwork and a regroup with Dr. S. (we are now calling him Dr. Babycraft). In Atlanta, the docs often do the scans, so you get to have a pretty regular, ongoing dicussion with your doctor, which is nice. Here, they have a pretty different model for getting things done, which in many ways is also nice, but it doesn't give you the opportunity to regularly communicate with your doc directly, so I scheduled this appointment just to touch base. I'm so glad I did that. Can't wait to get his take on how I'm progressing.

I also asked today who is calling the shots over the weekend since Dr. Babycraft isn't on. I was pleased that he isn't totally out of the loop; he is apparently supervising the on-call doc's decisions. I asked about my chances for getting him for the retrieval and Nurse Julie explained that I can request him if that's what I want. I assured her that that's what I want because this is our last ditch effort at this and well, he's the man.

About the Doppler retest -- in November at our one-day workup, they discovered a problem with uterine bloodflow. I was told that a year's worth of acupuncture had been done incorrectly and that I needed to start doing electro acupuncture. My great acupuncturist in Atlanta talked to one in Denver who works with CCRM and she started treatments according to Denver's specifications. I was also told, "Absolutely no caffeine of any kind" so I eliminated Coke, tea, and chocolate (very painful, especially during the holidays). I started drinking at least 64 oz of water per day and walking 30 minutes each day. This new regimen was a pretty significant undertaking for me, but I decided to abide by these rules because I wanted to give this all I've got. And what do you know?! It worked!