Six on Day Six

And then there were six.

The lab called today to report that yesterday (day 5) they biopsied and vitrified four of our embryos and then today (day six), there were two more to biopsy and vitrify. When she said "four" my heart sank, but when she told me about the two today, I felt better. I was a little bit disappointed because I was sort of hoping for another astounding report (I imagined perhaps 7 to 10 making it to blast), but when I really thought about what we have achieved, six is wonderful.

Again I asked for the details and she told me the grades: 3AA, 4AB, 5AA, 5AA, and two "two-thirds." Has anyone heard of this "two-thirds" grade? She explained it and then I asked her to explain it again. She said they are early blastocysts and they can almost tell where the intracellular mass (cells that become the baby) will be, but not enough to give them a real grade. However, they are good enough to make it to the next round. The very nice lab lady said that anything higher than a BB is considered a good embryo.

I asked about the ones that didn't make the cut and she said there were two ones, two that looked the way they should look on day four (so they were a few days behind) (there was a name for that but I can't figure out what it was -- I googled it and still couldn't get it -- it started with an M and sounded like oreo), and 3 arrested.

I also asked if she thought this was good overall, considering we started with 17 eggs. She said it is about what they would expect. I was sooo glad she didn't end that statement with "for someone of your age." That was so nice. Does anyone else cringe inside when you sense that phrase coming?

So if this were American Idol, my entire reserve of eggs stood in line for days to audition in front of Simon, Randy and Cara; 17 eggs got the chance to actually sing for them; 14 made it to Hollywood; and now six have made it into the finals.

Too much TV, you think?

Too much time off work! I pretty happily went back today, even if it was a 10-hour day.  (And yes, I was very happy to come home and watch the first AI episode featuring Ellen D.)

So I feel good about where we are. I don't have any anxiety about waiting six weeks for genetic test results and I sincerely told two people today that if zero come back normal, I will not regret doing this. I am so happy that we went to Denver. I feel like we have done everything we could possibly do to conceive a child. If this fails, I think it will be a sign that it is time to move on to another approach to building our family.

I just realized that in the past two paragraphs, I've used the word "happy" (or some variation thereof) three times. Yes, I feel happy. I am happy that our biggest hurdle to IVF success (making eggs and thus, embryos) has been jumped. The only two embryos we made before were below average on day three. Until now, I'd never made a blast and I'm pretty happy that I made six with pretty good grades! I'm happy that the stimulation phase is over and I probably don't ever have to do that again. Our plan, since we don't have insurance for this, was always to try three times and then move on. If it doesn't happen in three attempts, maybe it's not supposed to happen this way.

In addition to happy, I also feel relieved. I have been hopefully anticipating the possibility of pregnancy and parenthood off and on for.... well... almost 17 years. That's a long time to wish for something intermittently and to have almost no indication of whether your hopes will ever come to fruition. I am happy because I know that one way or another, this not knowing about something so important will be over before too much longer. (I was married before, at age 22, for 11 years. We tried off and on with no success during that time. Never sought help for the issue because I wasn't convinced I wanted kids with him. Soooo glad that didn't happen!)

So. Final "happy" count in this post: Eleven

That's a lot of happy. (Twelve!)