Sunday, June 27, 2010

Challenging weekend

Friday night, I had some bleeding -- a pregnancy first. Of course I panicked, but after talking to the midwife on call at my OB's office both Friday night and Saturday morning, I was reassured. It was mainly one episode Friday night around 11 p.m. and then just a few drops of blood at about 3 a.m. Saturday. Since then, it has all been brown, which the midwife said is good because that's old blood. We couldn't identify anything I've done that might have caused this but it isn't uncommon, so I'm not going to worry too much about it. We have another ultrasound Tuesday morning, so I hope to be reassured for sure then. I had to go to a meeting yesterday until mid-afternoon, but after that, I camped out on the couch. Today I went to church and then a baby shower (which lasted forever) but I returned to the couch when I got home around 6 p.m. I am thankful this episode was brief, but that doesn't make it less frightening. I immediately started thinking about the possibility of going back to that very familiar uncertain feeling that has permeated my infertility experience -- the question of what my life is going to be like. Fingers crossed that all is truly well. Will let you know Tuesday.

My best friend's dad died today. He had been ill and we had hoped he was on the mend, but his condition deteriorated rapidly last Wednesday or Thursday. I'm so sad for her, her mom, her four siblings, and all of his grandchildren (especially my godchildren). I knew him as a kind and hardworking man who loved his family. I know they weren't ready for him to go and he will be dearly missed. I haven't seen him much in recent years but my sense is that he loved being a grandfather. Those kids are going to miss that. And so is my friend. (I'm so sorry, S. I wish I could be there for you this week.) My mom has offered to go to the memorial service to represent our family and I hope she can go. My going is unfortunately out of the question because it's out of state and I'm still grounded, travel-wise. Especially after the bleeding episode from Friday. I hate this because S. was there for me when my dad died and it meant so much.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My shortest post ever

This is going to be my shortest post ever, but it is a significant thing . . .

The past two days I have begun to feel like a normal person again! I actually ate some chicken for lunch today . . . yes, chicken! My first in at least a month. I think that I'm about to turn the corner on the nausea and food aversions. And my energy level is improving, too.

I am so excited!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010


This post originally included information as follow up to a post that has been removed. Can we say TMI?? Following is the edited version.

I GRADUATED yesterday!! I went to the Atlanta clinic for my final blood draw (pending positive results) and CCRM called mid afternoon with the good news. My E2 shot up to 2,482 (from 1,671 on Monday!) after discontinuing the last patch on Tuesday. The E2 had been really creeping up by only like 20 points every week for a few weeks. I wonder what happened this week to get this increase. My P4 is still, as it has always been, "greater than 45." I don't know why the Atlanta clinic doesn't record the exact number when it is that high, but that's how they do it. If it has always been so high, I'm not sure all of those suppositories and injections were necessary, but who am I to second-guess the docs?


Today I am 11 weeks. Two more weeks left in the first trimester! Then we can announce our good news to the world. A lot of people already know -- and more will know this weekend because I gave my giddy mother the green light to tell at a family reunion that starts today. I just keep telling her, "No congratulatory Facebook postings!" I don't want to be outed that way.

I am still feeling gross a good bit of the time but I am also feeling very grateful that the past month is over. Between DH's birthday party and his whole family being here, followed by my goddaughter's visit, followed by my mom's stay while DH was out of the country, followed by my brother and SIL visiting last weekend, I am so, so happy that I have absolutely nothing to do and no one to entertain or feed today except myself. (All of those were very wonderful things and I wouldn't change it for a minute, but they happened so close together and it was exhausting at moments!) DH is out on a long bike ride with friends and this is the first time I've had significant time alone at home in a while. Ahh, sweet silence!

Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm back and still puny

I haven't had any time on anyone's blogs for the past 10 days or so... My mom came to stay with me while DH was out of town. He got home last night and she left this morning. I am so, so grateful that my mom did this for me. She is a retired nurse so she knows how to anticipate a person's needs when they are feeling puny, which I still am.

I can't say that we did much other than go to work each day, but these days that is an accomplishment for me! (Mom volunteers at the nonprofit where I work, so she came with me to work.) My brother and SIL came to visit on Friday (I took the day off) and stayed until Sunday morning. My SIL's birthday is tomorrow so we had a small party Saturday night. They cooked, thankfully, because I'm not so much into cooking even when I like food. And late Saturday night, I had a pregnancy first -- not exciting at all, but notable. I had a few bites of some fish and immediately said, "I can't do this." It was all I could do to swallow the second bite. For the next several hours, my stomach felt unsettled. And later, yep, it came back up. It was kind of a relief, in an odd way. I've felt so nauseous at times, I've said to my body, "I dare you to throw up!" Well, I did. And it was nice to feel better afterwards. It was just a single incident, so it was no doubt completely related to that fish. Ick.

Unfortunately, that experience put me back a few steps in my slight progress toward developing an appetite again. Yesterday I was extra-cautious about what I ate, didn't eat enough, didn't have enough energy, etc., etc. Today, I actually called in sick at work. I didn't sleep well at all and knew it was going to be a bad day if I tried to go to work. So I cut myself some slack and stayed home.

Today I am 10w2d, so I'm hoping I'm in the home stretch of this. I went to the Atlanta clinic for my weekly E2 and P4 blood draw. When CCRM called with results, they surprised me. I go back Friday (not the usual Monday) for one more check of both and if all is well, I'm done! I am already down to one Vivelle patch and I did my last PIO shot last Friday. I take that last patch off tomorrow and then I'm done (provided that the numbers look good on Friday)! This is like graduating from the infertility academy!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

What a week!

This week has been my least active week on this blog (and other peoples' blogs) since January. We've pretty much had company at our house for a week now, and my mom just arrived last night for the next 10 days. DH has gone with kids from church on a spiritual pilgrimage in the UK. He left last night and when I dropped him off at the train station to go to the airport, I burst into tears. Surprised myself! Before he left I asked him to get some more life insurance because if, God Forbid, anything happened, the existing policy would pretty much leave me in a bind now that we are expecting twins. I was grateful that he heard my plea and made it happen before he left town.

So, a quick recap of the last week. His family arrived last Saturday to celebrate DH's birthday. The big party was Sunday, and even though it rained and I had to move everything inside (it was supposed to be a backyard party), it all worked out great. It did stop raining enough for the four kids who were here to swim in the pool and for people to ooh and ahh about our new backyard. DH had a really great time and felt very loved, which was my mission with the whole thing. Success!

We told his family our news as soon as they arrived on Saturday and there were many hugs, some tears, and lots of questions I wasn't expecting. But it was fine. We ended up explaining everything to them all (IVF, Denver, frozen embryos still there, etc.). They only stayed until Monday at about 6 p.m. I was sad to see them go but was sooo exhausted on Monday, I needed a night to recuperate.

Tuesday, the camp for kids at my work started and my goddaughter was a volunteer. She has done this for three years now and always stays with us. I drive her in to camp when I go to work every day. This has become a special tradition and great concentrated time for us to spend together. More than any other child in the world, she has been my inspiration to become a mother and during the past two years, was a reminder of why we were persevering through the IF treatments. She is 11 now. This year, I think she was probably wondering what in the world had happened to me because I was sooo tired. Last year, we went on long walks in the evening around the neighborhood and swam in the pool every night. This year, I would come home and collapse on the couch at the end of the day. We finally told her Thursday night and she understood. It was so sweet to see her reaction. She got this big smile on her face and said, "That's awesome!" and then she said, "I think I might cry!" I said, "Now you know why I'm no fun anymore -- I haven't been feeling well." I think she was relieved to figure that one out. It was a special moment. She is going to be the perfect babysitting age. Too bad they don't live around the corner from us like they did when she was a baby.

Thursday, I had my first OB appointment. I really liked the new doctor (Ayres with Georgia OB/GYN, if any Atlanta readers are wondering). He came highly recommended by two good friends. I can say more about that later, but for now, I'll say the ultrasound looked good. The heartbeats were like 167 and 182 and he showed us tiny arms and legs. They look like limbless snowmen to me, but I could sort of see what he was showing us. They were measuring 8w5d, right on target.

I will probably be largely absent from the blogosphere this week, too, unless I can steal some time away from my mom in the evenings. She will probably hover a bit, but the way I've been feeling, I probably won't mind too much.

Have a great weekend, everyone!