Sunday, June 27, 2010

Challenging weekend

Friday night, I had some bleeding -- a pregnancy first. Of course I panicked, but after talking to the midwife on call at my OB's office both Friday night and Saturday morning, I was reassured. It was mainly one episode Friday night around 11 p.m. and then just a few drops of blood at about 3 a.m. Saturday. Since then, it has all been brown, which the midwife said is good because that's old blood. We couldn't identify anything I've done that might have caused this but it isn't uncommon, so I'm not going to worry too much about it. We have another ultrasound Tuesday morning, so I hope to be reassured for sure then. I had to go to a meeting yesterday until mid-afternoon, but after that, I camped out on the couch. Today I went to church and then a baby shower (which lasted forever) but I returned to the couch when I got home around 6 p.m. I am thankful this episode was brief, but that doesn't make it less frightening. I immediately started thinking about the possibility of going back to that very familiar uncertain feeling that has permeated my infertility experience -- the question of what my life is going to be like. Fingers crossed that all is truly well. Will let you know Tuesday.

My best friend's dad died today. He had been ill and we had hoped he was on the mend, but his condition deteriorated rapidly last Wednesday or Thursday. I'm so sad for her, her mom, her four siblings, and all of his grandchildren (especially my godchildren). I knew him as a kind and hardworking man who loved his family. I know they weren't ready for him to go and he will be dearly missed. I haven't seen him much in recent years but my sense is that he loved being a grandfather. Those kids are going to miss that. And so is my friend. (I'm so sorry, S. I wish I could be there for you this week.) My mom has offered to go to the memorial service to represent our family and I hope she can go. My going is unfortunately out of the question because it's out of state and I'm still grounded, travel-wise. Especially after the bleeding episode from Friday. I hate this because S. was there for me when my dad died and it meant so much.


  1. Ugh, I'm so sorry you have to endure the bleeding. It is just so scary - and you are right - it brings back all those IF fears. I hope it was a brief episode, and the scan tomorrow is great.

    And my condolences for your friend's dad.

  2. That is scary! I'm glad the spotting turned brown and then disappeared. It's good that you are just taking it easy. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that your scan is perfect.

  3. Woah! Oof! I'm glad that scary episode is over. Here you are - charging toward that second trimester.

  4. I have just stumbled across your blog today and paged back and read from the beginning .. I was so disappointed to get to this the last post and start wondering "what is happening now? what is happening now?"

    I really can't wait for your next post ... I really am so wishing you all the best ...