tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36915241078242050722012-01-18T09:28:45.257-05:00This blog was originally called "Six Months" because I thought the infertility question in my life would be answered within six months of beginning my first IVF cycle. Little did I know it would take three IVF cycles over 14 months at two clinics on opposite sides of the country!Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.comBlogger801100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-6210353069202724902012-01-15T00:09:00.000-05:002012-01-15T00:09:41.780-05:00

So it's been a while again! I've been checking in on some of my old blogging buddies tonight and I honestly don't know how you women do it... I just can't find the time to blog or even log in and read what's going on in other peoples' lives. I've missed out on a lot, I'm learning. Well, and there's a lot I've held back, too. I suppose it's time to fess up. I'm pregnant. 21 weeks pregnant. (

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-51598503084735779332011-08-04T14:35:00.000-04:002011-08-04T14:35:48.562-04:00

Once or twice in recent weeks, DH has mentioned the fact that baby boy has a few little hairs growing over the tops of his ears. He wants to trim them! I've rejected this suggestion, but I'm wavering. (Don't tell DH.) Here are the two sides of this, as I see it: It seems that the first haircut is "supposed" to be a big milestone. And we are talking about 4-6 strands of hair -- not a big lock

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-26930013742212594502011-07-11T15:35:00.000-04:002011-07-11T15:35:33.936-04:00

Well anyone who was reading my blog months ago has probably long stopped checking it! So much time has passed since my last post. Becoming a mom to twins at this point in my life has been quite a challenge. Something had to give in order for me to stay on top of things -- and actually several things had to give for me to hold onto even a shred of my sense of control over my life. I have not been

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-9687126569083133072011-02-11T00:23:00.000-05:002011-02-11T00:23:19.711-05:00

While DH was out of town for three days this week, everything went well! I had lots of help -- a friend brought me lunch on Monday, another friend came over after work Monday and stayed through the babies' bedtime, a mother/daughter team came over Tuesday evening and even spent the night, and then on Wednesday, another friend came for the afternoon. DH was back home that night. The babies were

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-49689901408602470142011-02-05T15:04:00.000-05:002011-02-05T15:04:15.818-05:00

I found out today that DH has to travel out of town for work on Monday. He won't be home until the middle of the night on Tuesday or on Wednesday morning. I'm pretty much freaking out. Can't decide whether I should hire a night nurse to help me out or simply go with it and see how things work. I mean, how many women in the world have managed twins alone? Plenty, for sure. One of my best friends

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-15277382885659757012011-02-04T17:43:00.000-05:002011-02-04T17:43:35.377-05:00

I just realized -- as I was going to write a bit about my very happy 40th birthday last weekend -- that yesterday was the one-year anniversary of our fantastic retrieval at CCRM -- the day my 11-week-old twins were conceived! The day came and went and I didn't think about it once. I think this means I've lost all concept of time, but there's a pretty good explanation for that! I need to find

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-90527946951089291792011-01-22T00:41:00.000-05:002011-01-22T00:41:52.347-05:00

Tonight is the third night that we are home ALONE with the twins. I am loving it. We are managing just fine, despite my mother's concerns that we couldn't do it. (I'm not sure if her concern wasn't a bit feigned in order to mask her desire to stay on and continue helping out -- she developed a strong, uh, "attachment" to the babies during her nearly two-month stay with us.... And yes, two months.

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-80188963799883254532011-01-15T19:17:00.000-05:002011-01-15T19:17:55.629-05:00

I've been thinking about how to summarize the past two months without too much or too little detail. I think I will break it down into topics such as: -- when your pregnancy is cut short and you're not ready -- when things don't go according to the birth plan -- handling multiple weeks with a baby in the NICU -- making it through the holidays under the above circumstances -- figuring out what

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-38589662708625249122011-01-13T14:38:00.000-05:002011-01-13T14:38:03.656-05:00

I'm really excited. I'm back! I have missed this community so, so much over the past 7-8 weeks. I have much to share and much to catch up on with other bloggers. I have now caught up on a few of my bloggy friends and there's exciting stuff going on! AuntieEm is transferring two embryos at CCRM this afternoon! Pie had her baby girl on Monday. AmyG is 35 weeks along and still playing gigs with her

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-91081944958867130682010-12-14T23:36:00.000-05:002010-12-14T23:36:21.551-05:00

I am enjoying a rare moment -- it's quiet, I'm alone, I'm NOT attached to a breast pump, and I'm warm, comfortable, and fairly awake. I'm not sure the last time this happened.... I've wanted to post for days on end -- and I've really NEEDED to post, for sanity's sake -- but the opportunity and energy just haven't been there until now. The babies are 3 weeks, 4 days old today -- gestational age

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-37234288545378560942010-11-25T01:41:00.000-05:002010-11-25T01:41:34.405-05:00

Despite all my effort to prevent preterm labor, I crossed the threshhold from pregnancy to motherhood last Friday night -- just shy of 33 weeks. My delivery date goal had been 36 weeks. Friday morning, my OB all but put me on bed rest because he said he could tell I wasn't resting enough. He commanded me to rest more and I obliged, spending all afternoon on the couch. When I went to the bahroom a

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-41790944944488066812010-10-30T11:50:00.000-04:002010-10-30T11:50:47.358-04:00

I can't believe that I am 30 weeks along. I learned this week that I may deliver in 4 weeks -- yikes! -- and that has brought all kinds of thoughts to mind. I think about the years it took to get to this point, feeling like pregnancy and parenthood might never, ever happen. Yet in some ways, those years seem so distant now. I still feel the burden of the unknowns of infertility when I think about

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-36746332478583604292010-09-25T11:18:00.001-04:002011-07-14T21:58:14.299-04:00

Well, I'm back! I can't really explain my absence . . . As I've caught up on some blogs I've been following (but not reading much of lately) this morning, I've realized how entirely out of the loop I've been. And I have wondered why I haven't taken the time to log on, read, and comment. Everything since early August (and probably the few weeks before that) is kind of a blur. I'll try to recap

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-6907545625869041592010-08-28T10:53:00.000-04:002010-08-28T10:53:12.725-04:00

I have been out of the loop, big time, for several weeks now. To those of you whose blogs I've been following and commenting on, I'm sorry. I'm approaching my big transition to part-time at work and it has been so much work! I've been in my job for 8 years and will be the first to admit that I am not the best manager of paper. My desk is huge and always covered with stacks of folders and things

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-77651201540762882852010-08-15T20:12:00.001-04:002011-07-14T22:34:14.395-04:00

We are back from an eight day trip to see family, also referred to as our farewell tour, since we won't get home again for at least nine months. We spent four days with my family and four days with DH's family. We had a great time visiting with everyone. I got to see my dad's brothers and their families as well as a very special great-aunt. We saw DH's whole family, which is much larger than my

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-18577630692349893262010-07-31T11:14:00.001-04:002010-07-31T11:16:28.963-04:00

I have been largely absent from the blogosphere for the past week or two because work has been insanely busy. We had six important deadlines yesterday and we met them all. I am thinking I can now coast a little bit -- after working 10 and 11-hour days for at least a week and a half. Yesterday we had back-to-back doctor's appointments, first with the OB and then with the perinattologist. At the

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-60981801864623561782010-07-24T10:17:00.000-04:002010-07-24T10:17:37.009-04:00

I didn't mean for 2 weeks to pass between posts, but I've been busier lately. I'm feeling much, much better -- normal, even -- and it's a really good thing because work has gotten super-demanding the past few weeks. I think this week, I never left the office before 7 p.m. On Thursday and Friday I was there until 8 p.m. I have three major deadlines next Friday and am spending as much time as

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-63459733355216352112010-07-10T14:21:00.000-04:002010-07-10T14:21:34.613-04:00

When we decided to tell our news freely after 13 weeks, I didn't realize the first trimester actually goes until 14 weeks, but we stayed with the plan because our ultrasound during week 12 went well. Unexpectedly, telling has been a bag of mixed emotions and thoughts. I had imagined it as pure joy. I realize now that I had imagined it as if I had conceived naturally in a normal amount of time -

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-44884480748194953402010-07-03T11:19:00.000-04:002010-07-03T11:19:54.869-04:00

Okay, I should have posted sooner with an update. Sorry about that. All is well. It was a pretty good week. I spent the time that I should have spent posting and commenting on peoples' blogs trying to set up a private blog for our families to follow our progress. Everyone lives out of state so we won't be seeing them much before the babies are born. (And this blog is a little more information

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-20414612324657925502010-06-27T23:37:00.000-04:002010-06-27T23:37:14.479-04:00

Friday night, I had some bleeding -- a pregnancy first. Of course I panicked, but after talking to the midwife on call at my OB's office both Friday night and Saturday morning, I was reassured. It was mainly one episode Friday night around 11 p.m. and then just a few drops of blood at about 3 a.m. Saturday. Since then, it has all been brown, which the midwife said is good because that's old blood

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-17349914639450709682010-06-22T22:01:00.001-04:002010-06-22T22:03:16.360-04:00

This is going to be my shortest post ever, but it is a significant thing . . . The past two days I have begun to feel like a normal person again! I actually ate some chicken for lunch today . . . yes, chicken! My first in at least a month. I think that I'm about to turn the corner on the nausea and food aversions. And my energy level is improving, too. I am so excited!!

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-4701735508093568962010-06-19T11:38:00.001-04:002011-07-14T22:17:18.888-04:00

This post originally included information as follow up to a post that has been removed. Can we say TMI?? Following is the edited version. I GRADUATED yesterday!! I went to the Atlanta clinic for my final blood draw (pending positive results) and CCRM called mid afternoon with the good news. My E2 shot up to 2,482 (from 1,671 on Monday!) after discontinuing the last patch on Tuesday. The E2 had

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-78426416138352409122010-06-14T19:34:00.001-04:002011-07-14T22:21:19.676-04:00

I haven't had any time on anyone's blogs for the past 10 days or so... My mom came to stay with me while DH was out of town. He got home last night and she left this morning. I am so, so grateful that my mom did this for me. She is a retired nurse so she knows how to anticipate a person's needs when they are feeling puny, which I still am. I can't say that we did much other than go to work each

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-70890898206496725572010-06-05T08:26:00.000-04:002010-06-05T08:26:03.130-04:00

This week has been my least active week on this blog (and other peoples' blogs) since January. We've pretty much had company at our house for a week now, and my mom just arrived last night for the next 10 days. DH has gone with kids from church on a spiritual pilgrimage in the UK. He left last night and when I dropped him off at the train station to go to the airport, I burst into tears.

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-74164839405487413292010-05-28T09:19:00.001-04:002011-07-14T22:06:52.882-04:00

I'm not sure I have mentioned this before, but I learned a while back that my star staff member (let's call her Stacy) was also trying to conceive. She has known about my situation for a while. She knew about the brief pregnancy a year ago and she knows about our going to CCRM and everything. A couple of months ago I briefly became obsessed with the fear that we would get pregnant at the same

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-35969142907054045992010-05-20T21:18:00.001-04:002011-07-14T22:24:01.315-04:00

The first sigh of relief is for my Atlanta RE, who hugged me 4 times and was soooo excited for us. She said she'd been thinking about me.  She could not have been nicer. (See yesterday's post for the back story on this.) I'm so glad I went out of my way to see her today for the ultrasound. She probably would have been disappointed if I had scheduled with one of her colleagues. And the outcome of

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-17490820015723184582010-05-19T23:44:00.000-04:002010-05-19T23:44:35.879-04:00

Tomorrow is our ultrasound! We will be 6w5d. I am nervous now that the day is upon us. I haven't had much time to emotionally prepare for it because I've been so nauseated and quite determined to find a way to manage it. I haven't even been anxiously counting the days until the ultrasound because just getting through one day is a major accomplishment right now. I read something yesterday about

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-10681670159392640402010-05-15T09:03:00.000-04:002010-05-15T09:03:09.507-04:00

I think my last post confirms a suspicion I had -- I have no readers (well, maybe one or two) from Atlanta! I still need to find an OB but I'll sort that out eventually. This week I began having some difficult symptoms -- nausea, extreme tiredness, and food aversions -- off and on throughout the day. I haven't quite figured out how to manage the nausea and food aversions, which are linked. My

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-21784948154424373752010-05-10T21:05:00.000-04:002010-05-10T21:05:30.267-04:00

I don't know if anyone from Atlanta is reading, but I am -- fingers crossed -- going to need an OB/GYN. My regular doc is way out in the 'burbs and I don't want to drive to his office for prenatal care. I love my regular doc so I've been waiting for pregnancy to occur before switching. It looks like the time for the switch is approaching. I want to deliver at Northside Hospital and want someone

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-33262875806668572902010-05-08T09:38:00.000-04:002010-05-08T09:38:28.274-04:00

Ahh, it's a lazy Saturday morning! I love it. Thought I'd do an update on a couple of things: I made it through the meeting with the boss yesterday without any inquiries about the outcome of the FET. I was ready, thanks to comments on my previous post, but didn't even need to evade any questions. I had a stroke of luck, actually, and was able to preempt any inquiries by bringing it up first. My

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-22528577709714746172010-05-05T23:34:00.000-04:002010-05-05T23:34:25.349-04:00

Thanks again to everyone for your comments and support! I don't have time to post this, but I feel the need to get some thoughts out. Now that I've had two strong betas, I'm officially pregnant. I've never been THIS pregnant before, which is sad since I'm only 4 weeks and 4 days along. I feel like I should be further along, given my symptoms -- lots of weird feelings in my midsection and extreme

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-63444128876227228262010-05-03T23:54:00.002-04:002010-05-04T00:02:41.366-04:00

I am sooo tired -- meant to post earlier but got sidetracked with DH's birthday party invitation -- but I couldn't let the day pass without a quick update. To recap -- Saturday's beta was 387. Today's was 1,108! I'm still pregnant and very relieved. My nurse asked, "How many did we transfer?" (two) She also asked, "So you're okay with multiples?" (yes) Of course it's still too early to tell.

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-59193478073533549912010-05-01T17:04:00.001-04:002010-05-02T17:50:18.655-04:00

So the call came in at 10:26 a.m. (so early!) and I was in the middle of a session on international adoption at the Resolve Family Building Conference in Atlanta. I had been thinking "oh I hope don't really need this information" not five minutes before I looked down and saw my phone light up and begin to vibrate. It was CCRM. I jumped up, steppped over a few people and bolted out of the room,

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-10754831501019562712010-04-28T23:08:00.001-04:002010-04-28T23:08:24.716-04:00

6dp5dt -- 3 days to go until beta! There's been a lot of "activity" in my body today. I've felt slightly crampy, with some lower back pain, and I had some feelings I don't think I've ever felt before. My breasts are also a bit tingly. All of this been happening off and on for several days but I wasn't so sure that some of it wasn't just effects of the estrogen patches and progesterone or wishful

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-75194421886364290202010-04-27T22:42:00.000-04:002010-04-27T22:42:17.080-04:00

I'm so proud of myself, I have to brag to some people who can appreciate this . . . I gave myself my very own PIO shot in the bum this morning! DH is going out of town for two days this week, so I was faced with calling a friend who's a nurse, paying my home clinic $30 for each injection, or doing it myself. I didn't like the first two options, so I decided to try it under DH's supervision this

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-12530479523389141322010-04-25T10:02:00.000-04:002010-04-25T10:02:41.109-04:00

We're back home now and thankfully we somehow dodged all of those horrible storms that devastated parts of Mississippi. Ironically, we flew right over those areas but at 40,000 feet above the clouds, it was bright and sunny. I couldn't help but notice that our flight had an all female crew, from the pilot, co-pilot, and the flight attendants. As I exited the plane I felt like saying something

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-74281279859741473362010-04-23T13:56:00.001-04:002010-04-23T18:09:59.693-04:00

First of all, I must comment on the crazy weather we're having here. Yesterday, it rained, it hailed, it was sunny for a while, and there were tornado warnings. Today, it has been raining but now it is changing over to snow. It is pouring snow right now! I think I heard that there could be 4" accumulation. Insane! We were here for 10 days in January/February and it was bright and sunny just about

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-90266624069711252172010-04-22T01:13:00.002-04:002010-04-23T18:00:49.681-04:00

DH and I agree it's a bit surreal to be back in Denver. We arrived tonight. I was sooo excited to get off of I-25 and ride past CCRM on the way to the hotel. DH waved to the embryos when we went by. I am ready! I feel like I have been prepping for a big game and tomorrow is game day. I'm sort of like, "Bring it on!!" I have some slight fear about something going wrong with the embryos when

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-27881289354922794732010-04-19T22:11:00.001-04:002010-04-23T17:59:07.823-04:00

PIO = Progesterone in Oil PIO = intramuscular injection in your backside PIO = P-I-Oh Crap! I had my progesterone level checked this morning and it was only 4.1. CCRM wants it above 6. The nurse called with the news and I knew what was coming. I've heard about these shots. I have a fear of intramuscular (IM) shots because the needle is huge and you can't give them to yourself. This means my DH

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-37651884483552936952010-04-18T10:01:00.001-04:002010-04-23T17:58:11.877-04:00

Hope is such a mysterious and sometimes elusive thing. Friday night I googled something about FET and one of the top FET links that came up was something from the blog of another CCRM patient. I clicked over there and was absolutely drawn in by her storytelling abilities. And she was so positive! Her FET was last October and it worked. It was her last chance and she transferred her very last

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-91744537088339627982010-04-16T23:54:00.001-04:002010-04-23T17:56:38.626-04:00

I'm excited and relieved that after all this time of waiting and preparation, the FET date is almost here. I'm "locked in" now on the date. This week, on Monday, my E2 was 126 (they like it to be 50 or more). Today, it was 312 (they like it to be 300 or more). My nurse asked if I'm moving the estrogen patches around, because apparently if you put them in the same vicinity, the absorption is

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-27502646759261254492010-04-08T00:19:00.001-04:002010-04-23T17:53:04.199-04:00

Here's an update, real quick, because it is midnight on a "school night" (I have to go to work in the morning). We talked to Dr. Babycraft yesterday for our pre-FET follow-up. We decided to transfer 2 embryos although he would be willing to do three, given my age and my past failures. I declined, saying I'm afraid of triplets. I suppose if this attempt is another failure, we can do a Hail Mary

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-53996809648786636542010-04-04T23:17:00.003-04:002010-04-23T17:50:05.722-04:00

As much as I want to think that I’ve got all of this infertility stuff under control and that the outcome isn’t going to break me if it’s not what I want, that’s just not the case. As much as I want to live just one day without thinking about my childless state, that’s not possible. Although I try to live my life as fully as I can, filling my days with work, projects at home, volunteer

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-36466324134882930922010-03-27T10:44:00.002-04:002011-07-14T21:51:12.148-04:00

Well, I forgot to post an update that AF did finally arrive -- and in time to keep things on schedule. I started BCPs the other day and today I start Lupron, too. I've never done a frozen transfer so this is all new to me. I haven't had a lot to write about, which is why I haven't, but I feel like posting a few random things. Here goes . . . We are moving forward on our backyard project and I'm

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-14523420868810756422010-03-19T00:19:00.001-04:002010-04-23T17:38:05.764-04:00

Something occurred to me a few days ago before I got distracted by AF's delay (she still isn't here yet) . . .  I was thinking about the transfer scheduled for late April, the two-week wait, and the fact that without a doubt, my mom and mother-in-law will each in her own special way display heightened interest in all of this. Here's what I'm curious about: what if I informed the moms that I'm

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-78785736095005796832010-03-18T23:36:00.003-04:002010-04-23T17:37:05.174-04:00

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the thought that possibly, just possibly, I had conceived naturally made me feel like the Earth was going to tilt off its axis and screw up the seasons, the tides, the length of a day, and whatever else depends on it. (Did you know that the earthquake in Chile caused the Earth to shift on its axis and actually shortened the length of a day by 1.26 millionths of

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-42374755867609768482010-03-17T22:47:00.000-04:002010-03-17T22:47:53.765-04:00

I'm a bit unsettled today because my cycle was supposed to start and it didn't. And I am super-regular. AF arrives every 28 days like clockwork. The FET schedule is built upon today being Day One, not Day Twenty-nine. (Actually, to make matters worse, I miscounted and the FET schedule is built upon yesterday being CD One.) Now I'm going to be at least two days behind on the path to an April 22

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-2463902875978399562010-03-13T11:47:00.002-05:002011-07-14T22:38:24.336-04:00

I think my good news from a week ago has finally found a place to settle in my heart and mind. Last night over dinner with one of our best friends, in reference to what I'm going to be doing when my husband is out of the country the second week in June, I said, "I don't know what I'm going to do yet, because I'm going to be pregnant." It just rolled off my tongue so easily! If we transfer two

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-42906574031094507432010-03-06T12:22:00.001-05:002010-04-23T17:32:46.872-04:00

So the news that we actually have five genetically normal embryos is beginning to sink in - sort of. I feel like I've won the lottery or something, but it's not like I'm actually pregnant yet. However, our chances are significantly better than they've ever been. And yes, Pie, that feels great! (And a little bit surreal, to tell you the truth.) Each time we've gotten good news since going to

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-67118937570849897942010-03-05T19:37:00.002-05:002010-04-23T17:28:17.508-04:00

I don't have time to say much right now, but I simply cannot wait to share the results, which I received this afternoon. Out of our six frozen embryos, FIVE are normal. I can hardly believe it. I was hoping for at least two. FIVE!!!!! I am so ecstatically happy. Projected FET date is April 22. So glad I got this info before the weekend. Thank you, everyone, for your encouragement, prayers,

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-86228919737072942132010-02-28T23:01:00.002-05:002011-07-14T21:42:13.842-04:00

The past week was one of the most difficult weeks I've had in a while. On the one hand, it was a good distraction from the wait, but on the other hand, it was exhausting. It was all work drama. I have an irrational fear that someone from work (or someone in my city of more than 5 million people) will figure out who I am, so I won't give details. Suffice it to say that the week included lots of

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-12862511031859466362010-02-22T21:01:00.002-05:002010-04-23T17:25:06.370-04:00

Emotion of the moment:  fear. I don't know why, but I'm feeling scared that none of our embryos will be normal. It hit me yesterday that that really could be the case. I'm hoping for at least two of the six to be normal, but it very well could be that none of my 39-year-old eggs can make good embryos. I just got a call on my cell phone from area code 303 and thought, "It's the lab." My heart

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-80049395271188129582010-02-19T23:00:00.001-05:002010-04-23T17:23:28.063-04:00

AmyG at When you gotta glow gave me an award earlier this week -- a first for me! Thank you, AmyG. You have been such an encouragement to me. I am still pretty new at what I will call "interactive blogging," and you've helped me get out there and connect with people. Blogging has helped me deal with circumstances in better ways. For example, the other night, DH and I went to dinner and a

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-92035700554915274172010-02-17T21:39:00.001-05:002010-02-17T21:40:34.583-05:00

This is my first Show and Tell. Click on the chalkboard above to go to the archives and learn more about this project, which Mel has been coordinating for at least 92 weeks now. Click here to visit Mel's Show and Tell post for this week, which includes links to what other bloggers are sharing. I want to share a photo I took earlier this month in Colorado. "Grow Here" is a marketing

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-79505550777555275222010-02-15T23:53:00.001-05:002010-04-23T17:16:25.334-04:00

What follows is a really long post, most of which I composed today at work over lunch. I finished it up tonight. It may seem disjointed, but what can I say? ***** The snow has melted and all is back to normal in the ATL. I am feeling a bit melancholy today -- okay, more than a bit melancholy or I wouldn’t be writing about it on my lunch hour -- but I’m not sure exactly why. It really started

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-29704879891634765392010-02-12T23:30:00.002-05:002011-07-14T22:36:31.506-04:00

I must confess that I have felt a little jealous of everyone up near D.C. with all of that snow. (Please don't comment and tell me how insane of a statement that is. I get it. Things up there are really a total mess and most everyone is inconvenienced and frustrated.) I grew up in a place that has mild winters like we do in Atlanta. But I went to school in the Shenandoah Valley and we got lots

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-48716579813644084492010-02-10T00:31:00.001-05:002010-04-23T17:12:36.459-04:00

And then there were six. The lab called today to report that yesterday (day 5) they biopsied and vitrified four of our embryos and then today (day six), there were two more to biopsy and vitrify. When she said "four" my heart sank, but when she told me about the two today, I felt better. I was a little bit disappointed because I was sort of hoping for another astounding report (I imagined

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-46214655422535661942010-02-06T11:47:00.001-05:002010-04-23T17:09:29.696-04:00

Just got the call from the lab for the Day 3 report. For starters, the guy said everything looks excellent and that they would call me in a few more days with the final report. And that was all he was going to say!. But I said, "Okay I'm an information girl so I would like to know everything you can tell me about them at this point." He immediately said, "Okay, I'm going to read each embryo's

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-51383098006428097202010-02-04T19:34:00.001-05:002010-04-23T17:05:08.775-04:00

I don't really know what to do with all of this good news. Seriously, DH and I were talking today about how we just aren't accustomed to having good outcomes from our IF procedures. Diagnostic tests, sure, everything looks fine. But IUIs? IVF cycles? No way. For nearly 3 years, nothing has really gone well with our treatments. Until now. Believe it or not, 14 of my 17 eggs fertilized! The lab

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-54167685445427468072010-02-03T23:16:00.001-05:002010-04-23T17:03:16.788-04:00

I'm calling this post "Unbelievable Retrievals" -- yep, plural -- because before I share today's ER report, I will remind you about my unbelievable retrieval from August of last year:  we got just 3 eggs as my Atlanta doc was hoping to improve upon the first cycle when we got 7 eggs. As I was waking up in recovery, I asked my DH repeatedly how many eggs we got. And then I kept saying, "Only three

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-15986725676369453742010-02-02T20:00:00.001-05:002010-04-23T16:59:52.863-04:00

Today's been a good day. Lots of down time. Time for checking in at work, doing laundry, and drinking lots and lots of water. Trigger shot last night went just fine with a nurse for hire who seemed waaay too happy to be showing up at my hotel at 1:30 a.m. It was an IM shot in my bum, which I couldn't do and my DH was afraid to do. The nurse was good. It was much less irritating than the

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-69354795808438303732010-02-01T23:37:00.002-05:002010-04-23T17:01:09.148-04:00

So I'm finally ready for the trigger shot! I had some major follicular growth overnight and I think the time has come. My lead was 25 mm today -- that's like 6 mm larger than yesterday. Seem impossible? My nurse said it could be attributed to having a different sonographer today from yesterday. Or maybe the growth hormone injections have a lingering effect! Trigger is tonight at 1:45 a.m. and

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-2208675275491127242010-01-31T22:45:00.003-05:002010-04-23T17:35:49.830-04:00

I would not have predicted that I'd go three days before posting again since I'm in Denver now and I'm supposed to have all kinds of time on my hands. We actually have been pretty busy. Thursday -- ultrasound and bloodwork, consult with genetic counselor, backup sperm sample, switched rooms in hotel (got the big one we wanted), dealt with work issues and internet problems in new hotel room

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-4942617655239049102010-01-28T08:56:00.001-05:002010-04-23T16:48:20.155-04:00

Well, it's not that bad (mile high), but I am having some anxiety, which is pretty unusual for me. I think it's partly lack of sleep. Too many long days at work trying to prep for being out for two weeks. It's also an inability to pack well -- DH and I checked 4 bags -- yep, FOUR -- and had three carryons. Of course I had a backpack jammed full of meds on ice, boxes of Menopur and Prometrium,

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-82798125396683051952010-01-24T20:56:00.003-05:002010-04-23T16:45:06.800-04:00

I saw this quote in someone's Facebook status several days ago and it stayed with me. I'm pasting it here in case I need to make a graceful exit after our trip to Denver. There’s a trick to the "graceful exit." It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-75556674740265028302010-01-24T00:14:00.001-05:002010-04-23T16:43:53.674-04:00

Thanks so much to everyone who commented on my last post -- and a huge thanks to Mel for mentioning me in her 172nd Friday Roundup. I feel like I'm really part of the blogosphere now. Thank you all for your kind, encouraging words. ******* I started my meds this week. Bought most of them at a local specialty pharmacy in the ATL, except for the Lupron -- which CCRM insisted I get from a

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-49825668988011956502010-01-17T22:53:00.003-05:002010-04-23T17:17:26.879-04:00

It's been a rainy three-day weekend so I've allowed myself some time to check out other blogs about infertility. I had no idea there were so many! Everyone seems so interconnected. What a great community. I think I need this. Here's why: I have a handful of close friends who know what I'm going through and are wonderfully supportive, but I don't talk to them every day or even every week. I

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-61634100275187249982010-01-16T12:23:00.001-05:002010-04-23T16:25:49.095-04:00

I selected the wrong name for this blog last spring. We had been accepted into the Attain program, which gave us up to three fresh and three frozen IVF cycles for the price of about two cycles. I actually thought that I could do three fresh cycles in six months. (I didn't anticipate the opportunity to do a frozen cycle because my doc said it was unlikely.) After two unsuccessful cycles in five or

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-13972617586043064472009-09-13T09:16:00.003-04:002010-04-23T16:16:38.517-04:00

Well, it's been six months now since I started this blog. I was thinking I'd have some resolution to my infertility problems within six months. Unfortunately I underestimated the amount of time needed to sort things out. We did get kicked out of the Attain program the other day. I wasn't surprised. It was all matter-of-fact when they called. The person I spoke with said they were discontinuing

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-46468508874038787452009-08-31T10:34:00.005-04:002010-04-23T16:13:07.660-04:00

Today I learned that our second IVF attempt was unsuccessful. They did the egg retrieval yesterday and only got 3 eggs. I knew that wasn't good news and I wasn't surprised at all when the embryologist called this morning to let me know that none of them fertilized. This protocol my doc chose this time -- more agressive than the first attempt -- simply didn't work. We had good numbers of eggs but

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-75853266058285050922009-06-21T10:35:00.003-04:002010-04-23T16:11:21.801-04:00

It's been a rough time for me lately. I did end up having a miscarriage, but no D and C. I sort of wish I had a D and C because I've been bleeding off and on for like 5 or 6 weeks. Every time I think it's done, I get surprised again. My doctor is monitoring my HCG -- they have to make sure it goes back to zero. A week and a half ago it was 32. It is CREEPING down! I go back in three days for

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-1850008521666148672009-05-08T19:20:00.007-04:002010-04-23T15:50:21.831-04:00

I had planned to update my blog once a week or so, but I've definitely failed since the embryo transfer. Much has happened. Three days after the transfer, I had severe pain when I woke up in the morning. I couldn't stand it so I called my doctor and they said to come into the office. I spent 1-2 hours there with a doctor who is a man of few words but a very kind person. After he pressed on my

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-52441146502199585872009-04-19T21:24:00.004-04:002010-04-23T15:42:38.707-04:00

Last Wednesday we had the egg retrieval and got seven mature eggs. I was sedated, so I didn't remember anything at all. After the retrieval, I spent the day at home sleeping. Thursday morning on the way to work, the embryologist called with a report. When he said, "unfortunately" my heart sank. Only two of the seven eggs fertilized. We had planned to name them "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe" so this

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-4567530980508420172009-04-12T00:04:00.003-04:002010-04-23T15:37:27.272-04:00

On Friday, my doctor said, "I don't think you're going to need 12 days of meds." She saw 7 follicles on one ovary and 2-3 on the other. She seemed pleased, but I'm not sure if she's just one of those people who's always positive and encouraging. Not that I think she'd mislead me into thinking things were good if they weren't. My next ultrasound and bloodwork is tomorrow morning -- Easter Sunday

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-27952278793917460932009-04-08T21:02:00.004-04:002010-04-23T15:34:57.095-04:00

The big box containing $4,000 worth of medication arrived late last week. I started twice a day shots of Lupron on Sunday along with a five day prescription of Letrozole, which I had with each of my five IUIs. I'm also on Dexamethasone every day until retrieval. Then Tuesday I added a shot of 375 units of Follistim, administered with a pen that you dial to get the correct dosage and a shot of one

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-23476838896007425932009-03-30T19:14:00.011-04:002009-03-31T18:25:56.480-04:00

If there's anyone out there reading this, I'll give a quick update along with a promise for more posts soon. I start the stimulation shots in six days, so I'll be writing about that soon.Last week I had an hysteroscopy and what they call the "trial transfer" -- two tests that must be done between days six and 12. I almost missed them because I showed up at the wrong location of my doctor's

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-62438578156481977232009-03-15T11:52:00.005-04:002009-03-15T12:08:24.398-04:00

This morning -- out of the blue -- I met someone who just last week found out she's pregnant after her first IVF cycle. We were both volunteering at a 10K, cheering runners at the finish line, so there was plenty of time to talk. She was so upbeat, positive, and eager to encourage me. It was interesting to talk with her because her excitement made me a bit nervous and I sensed that my lack of

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-23052235311051683862009-03-12T23:19:00.003-04:002010-04-23T15:26:42.435-04:00

Well, I reread what I wrote yesterday. What a whiner I sounded like! I was right about going to church. It made me feel better, as did getting in front of my Outlook calendar at work today, synching it with my Blackberry, and feeling more in control of all that's going on. I got my hair cut and colored tonight and that always makes me feel good, too. I just remembered something the IVF counselor

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-19811128544712047732009-03-11T17:19:00.006-04:002011-02-22T23:53:39.617-05:00

Let the ride begin. Yesterday I was so calm and matter of fact about everything. Today, not so much. Yet it has more to do with the rest of my life combined with the fact that I'm about to start IVF than IVF alone. There's a lot going on right now at work and at home and in a couple of my volunteer commitments. What stresses me out is time away from work. I think I have a work ethic that is

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3691524107824205072.post-68399727341741376442009-03-10T18:56:00.008-04:002011-02-22T23:55:44.188-05:00

After five failed IUIs (intrauterine inseminations), we're turning to IVF. Interesting timing, considering all the news about the Octomom and the my state legislature's consideration of a bill that would essentially put fertility clinics out of business in this state. I was hoping my instincts were right -- that the bill doesn't stand a chance of passing -- and after the hearing last week, it

Susiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15182042099766141281noreply@blogger.com0